Sometimes I think too much...

The other day I was talking to a 14 year old who was telling me how things ARE going to happen: she is NOT going to serve detention for assaulting her mother, if she does her mother WILL get the same amount of jail time for her role in the fight, she is NOT going to live with her mother any more anyway, but she is NOT going to foster care either....

What popped into my mind was a passage from the Roman philospher Epictitus, a major player in the Stoic school:

"Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.... 

Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, "You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be." And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you."

Sometimes I want to hand out reading assignments to these kids. Hitting them with Roman philosophers, though, no mater how apposite, probably will go right over their pointy little heads.

Oh well, back to telling them "This is the reality. Deal with it!"