Sometimes I think too much...

The other day I was talking to a 14 year old who was telling me how things ARE going to happen: she is NOT going to serve detention for assaulting her mother, if she does her mother WILL get the same amount of jail time for her role in the fight, she is NOT going to live with her mother any more anyway, but she is NOT going to foster care either....

What popped into my mind was a passage from the Roman philospher Epictitus, a major player in the Stoic school:

"Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.... 

Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, "You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be." And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you."

Sometimes I want to hand out reading assignments to these kids. Hitting them with Roman philosophers, though, no mater how apposite, probably will go right over their pointy little heads.

Oh well, back to telling them "This is the reality. Deal with it!"

a public defender's secret

My practice is 99% juvenile criminal defense; I contract out as a public defender. The other day some parent went out and hired a big name defense lawyer for a kid whose case I was working on. It happens, no big deal.

I hand the file to this guy and tell him  "the prosecutor figures the standard sentence is ****, but I think the 150% rule applies."

"Uh... what's the 150% rule?"

I won't get into the arcana of calculating a juvenile sentence under Washington State law; let's just say that you should know what the 150% rule is if you're going to hold yourself out as competent to do it. 

Here's the dirty little secret:
As a public defender, I often find myself coaching the private attorneys behind the scenes on how to do the actual work. Some are good- better than I am, honestly- and some are the idiots of the Bar Association village. None of them spend the kind of time doing juvenile law that I do.

The myth is that PDs are overworked and incompetent and you need a private attorney to get a good result. In some areas, that may be true. Hell, I often feel overworked. My colleagues and I, though, are the most competent juvenile lawyers in town. If you go out and hire a private attorney, what it gets you is more personal attention, a lawyer with a fancy office, and maybe less time waiting 
for your case to be called, not a better defense. 
If another lawyer has one case on the docket and I have ten, 
it's common courtesy to let him go first. 
Kind of like the express lane at Safeway. Whose house do you want to go to
 dinner at, though? The 
yuppie with  five Lean Cuisines, or the guy with the cart load of 
real vegetables, fresh beef, and raw fruit?

I'm left handed.

No big deal? It was when they tried to make me right handed in grade school- not possible for someone like me- and when I took guitar lessons. Ever tried to play guitar upside down and backwards? Jimi Hendrix (who played left handed) could do it, but he practiced for thousands of hours the normal way first. Not the way to start out. Every day, in ways I hardly notice most of the time, I adjust to a world that's not designed for people like me.

How do you tell the southpaws at a picnic? They instinctively grab the far left seat at the table so their left 
elbow won't constantly collide with the next guy's right.

Ever tried to open the blade(s) of a Swiss Army knife while holding it in your left hand? It can't be done.

Pick up the nearest pen and look at the brand name printed on the barrel. If it's in your right hand it's right side up. If it's in your left it's upside down. I don't really care, 
but it's not done that way by random chance.

Remember those chairs in college with the little desk attached to the arm?
Lots of days I had a sore back because the one left handed one was taken when I got there.

What brings this to mind is the California Supreme Court's decision last week legalizing gay marriage. I think being gay is a lot like being left handed- the causes haven't been identified, you don't get a choice about it, and if you are no amount of societal pressure is going to change 
your basic orientation. 
With a lot of struggle I might learn to write with my right hand, 
but I would never do it
voluntarily or enjoy it. 

What's the point, then, of telling people they shouldn't be gay? If they are they are.
Makes about as much sense-and does about as much good- as telling me to be right handed.